Mario goes to court
by El mono grande
Summary: Mario gets sued by Bowser, need I say more? Please R&R!
1. The summons

MARIO GOES TO COURT 

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BY: EL MONO GRANDE 

** CHAPTER ONE: THE SUMMONS**

 It had been about two years since the last time Bowser had kidnapped princess Peach and Mario was starting to run out of ideas of how to spend his time. He had taken up poker and won the mushroom kingdom's invitational poker tournament all three times he was invited. During this time he also learned his ABC's and his 123's for the first time, seeing as he had never gone to school so he was a little stupid.

 "Luigi, where's the pasta?" Mario called through his and Luigi's house.

 "It's in the cabinet, why?" Luigi answered back from the bathroom.

 "I'm making cereal." Mario answered, messing around in the kitchen.

 "You don't need…" Luigi began to say before he heard the sound of the blender coming from the kitchen.

 "Making cereal, making cereal." Mario began to sing.

 "Mario! You don't need a blender to make cereal!" Luigi yelled over the sound of the blender as he walked down the steps and into the kitchen.

 "I don't?" Mario asked, stopping the blender. Luigi walked into the room only to find a mess of shredded pasta and milk all over the room.

 "Mario, what happened?" Luigi said in shock.

 "I tried to make cereal, but I couldn't find a bowl so I used the blender. When I started eating a saw a pretty red button and couldn't resist pressing it…so I did. Then a little thing in the bottom of the blender started spinning and the food went everywhere and just watched the spiny thing and before I knew it I got bored and turned it off. Now you're here and you asked…" Mario began to say before Luigi stopped him so he wouldn't repeat the story over and over.

 "You could have asked me where the bowls were when you asked where the pasta was." Luigi said, grabbing a mop from the closet in the hall.

 "No I couldn't have." Mario said like a little five year old.

 "Why not?" Luigi asked, filling a bucket with water from the sink.

 "Ummm… because!" Mario snapped back.

 "That's not a reason." Luigi replied. Just then Mario heard a knock on the door.

 "Guests!!!" Mario yelled and ran to the door. He opened the door to see a man in a blue suit with a briefcase and a piece of paper.

 "Hello, my name is Johnny Cochran and my client, Bowser, is suing you." Johnny said, handing the piece of paper to Mario and made his way back down the walk.

 "BREAKFAST!" Mario yelled, putting the piece of paper in his mouth. Luigi then walked into the room and pulled it out of his brother's mouth.

 "Mario, it's three o'clock and this is a court summons." Luigi said, looking the paper over.

 "Wuz that mean?" Mario asked.

 "It means someone's suing you and you have to go to court." Luigi said, folding the paper up and sticking it in his pocket.

 "Yay!" Mario yelled in excitement.

 "Why are you so happy?" Luigi asked.

 "If I go to court that means I get to play basketball!" Mario yelled and began running around the room, pretending to dribble a ball around.

 "Mario, it's not that kind of court." Luigi said.

 "Then what kind of court is it?" Mario asked, still running around the room.

 "It means you have to win a case or you go to jail." Luigi answered.

 "Like Monopoly?" Mario asked innocently.

 "No, the living in a small room and having to watch your bum kind." Luigi said. Mario stopped running around and looked at Luigi wide eyed.

 "That means I won't live here anymore." Mario said, his eye's tearing up.

 "Yup, but all you have to do is win the case." Luigi said, reassuringly.

 "What kind of case?" Mario asked, felling a little better.

 "A court case." Luigi answered.

 "How do I win a case big enough to fit a court into?" Mario asked.

 "No, not that kind of case." Luigi said, smacking himself on the forehead.

 "Now I'm really confused." Mario said.

 "It means that you tell your side of the story, whatever that may be, and your opponent tells theirs and the jury tells who wins." Luigi explained.

 "Oh…who am I playing against?" Mario asked.

 "Mario it's not a game." Luigi replied.

 "Still, who is my opponent?" Mario asked again.

 "Well lets see it's…BOWSER?!" Luigi yelled.

 "Yay, I haven't seen him in awhile." Mario said, clapping his hands.

 "He's suing you for 'pain and suffering' and 'emotional distress.'" Luigi said. He then smacked Mario, who was still clapping, to shut him up.

 "When do we see Bowser?" Mario asked.

 "Tomorrow." Luigi answered.

  **WELL THAT ENDS CHAPTER ONE. I WILL WRITE CHAPTER TWO LATER, OR TOMMOROW. EITHER WAY NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE BEGINNING OF THE TRIAL! PLEASE R&R.**


	2. The trial begins

CHAPTER TWO: THE TRIAL BEGINS 

 "Where are we?" Mario asked as he and Luigi arrived at the courthouse.

 "We're at your trial." Luigi answered.

 "Hey, it's Bowser." Mario said, pointing to Bowser and his koopa kids. Bowser was wearing a fake neck brace, Johnny Cochran (or JC for short ) was walking alongside him.

 "Bowser got JC as his lawyer?" Luigi asked, his eyes widening.

 "Let's go in." Mario said. He ran inside the courthouse, past Bowser and his friends, and sat down at the table in the front of the room, Luigi soon joined him.

 "Mario, you can't act stupid here. This is very important so I'll be your lawyer." Luigi said, laying a briefcase down on the table.

 "No need, I have a lawyer." Mario said.

 "Who?" Luigi asked suspicously.

 "Sit in the audience and you'll find out." Mario said smiling.

 "Okay…" Luigi said as he sat in the seats behind the main floor. Just then Bowser sat at the table on the other side of the room and the bailiff came in.

 "All rise for the honorable judge Joe." The bailiff said and everyone but Mario stood up. The judge came in and everyone was once again seated.

 "Mr. Bowser, who will be representing you?" Judge Joe asked.

 "I will." JC said, standing up.

 "Mr. Mario, who is defending you?" Judge Joe asked.

 "I will defend myself." Mario said triumphantly. He got up on the table and threw the briefcase Luigi had brought into the side of Bowser's head.

 "Owwww." Bowser said, rubbing his head.

 "Order, order! We will have none of that in my courtroom!" The judge yelled from his seat high above the others.

 "I object!" Mario yelled, quickly being objected.

 "Oh no." Luigi said to himself quietly.

 "Mr. Cochran, please give the jury your opening speech." The judge commanded. JC walked over to the jury and began to talk.

 "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client, Mr. Bowser, has been harassed by Mr. Mario on several occasions." JC began.

 "Objection!" Mario once again yelled.

 "Mr. Mario, you can not object the opening speech." The judge explained.

 "Oh, sorry Mr. Cockroach." Mario said.

 "It's **COCHRAN**." JC said.

 "Mr. Cochran, please continue your speech." The judge said.

 "Yes your honor. Now I have proof of assault on my client. He not only has a neck brace but his kids have also been attacked by Mr. Mario. If you let him go free then there will be a terrible man on the streets free to harass more people. Thank you." JC finished. He returned to his seat.

 "Mr. Mario, it's your turn to deliver your opening speech." The judge commanded.

 "YAY!" Mario yelled and ran over to the jury. "Ladies and…um…people who aren't ladies of the jury…" Mario began but abruptly stopped.

 "Well?" One of the jury members asked after a few seconds.

 "I'm not wearing underwear." Mario said and returned to his seat.

 "Well that was…informative. Let's begin the trial." The judge said.

 "Your honor." Mario said, raising his hand.

 "Yes?" The judge asked.

 "May we have a brief recess?" Mario asked politely.

 "Okay, I guess. Court will meet back in twenty minuets." The judge said and Mario jumped from his seat.

 "YAY RECESS!" Mario yelled and ran over to Bowser.

 "What are you doing?" Bowser asked when Mario approached him. Mario smacked him on the shoulder.

 "TAG, YOU'RE IT!" Mario yelled and ran from the courtroom.

 **WELL THAT ENDS CHAPTER TWO. CHAPTER THREE WILL BE UP SOON! PLEASE R&R!**


	3. What the hell is this?

**CHAPTER THREE: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?**

**NOTE: THIS CHAPTER WILL BE EXTREMELY STUPID AND A LITTLE HARD TO FOLLOW AT TIMES SO PLEASE TRY TO UNDERSTAND IT THROUGH ALL THE STUPID. THANK YOU.**

 "So Mr. Mario, are ready to begin the trial?" The judge asked as soon as everyone was seated again after the recess.

 "Yup." Mario replied. Mario and Bowser had played tag with JC in the front of the courtyard while everyone else was watching.

 "Mr. Mario, call your first witness to the stand." The judge commanded. Mario stood up and walked to the center floor.

 "I call…" Mario was saying. He stopped to draw the tension out ( although he didn't know that. ). "Mario to the stand!"

 "What?" Bowser asked. Mario ran back to his seat.

 "Me?" He asked and ran back to the front of the room.

 "Yes you." He answered.

 "What the hell is this?" JC asked.

 "Ummm, his first witness apparently." The judge said, scratching his head. Mario walked to the witness stand and sat down and ran back to the front of the room.

 "Mr. Mario, where were you on the night of March 36th?" Mario asked himself and ran back to the stand.

 "I was at home, baking cookies." He replied with a tone of innocence in his voice. He ran back up to question himself further.

 "What kind of cookies?"

 "Oatmeal raisin."

 "I don't believe you."

 "How come?"

 "Because."

 "You're a bad lawyer."

 "Am not."

 "Are too."

 "Am not."

 "Are too."

 "Mr. Mario!" The judge yelled.

 "What?" He asked, out of breath from all the running.

 "Please get back on track with your questioning instead of arguing with yourself." The judge commanded. Mario turned to the empty seat and began to question it again.

 "So Mr. Mario have you ever attacked that man over there?" Mario asked himself. He jogged back to the seat.

 "No I haven't."

 "Are you sure?"

 "Yes, I have never attack that man."

 "Really?"

 "Yes."

 "Well this is going nowhere." JC whispered to Bowser was continuing to question himself.

 "Isn't that good?" Bowser asked.

 "Very." JC answered.

 "So you're saying you're innocent on all accounts." Mario said to the empty seat. He had done so much running he was very short on breath. He barely managed to get back to the stand.

 "Pant, pant Yes. Pant, pant." Mario gasped out and got up and went to the front of the room. "No…further questions."

 "Mr. Cochran, it's your turn to question Mr. Mario." The judge said as JC got to the front of the room and helped Mario to the stand.

 "Mr. Mario, have you ever physically assaulted my client, Mr. Bowser?" JC asked.

 "Hell yeah, it's like a sport to me." Mario replied.

 "No further questions." JC said as he returned to his seat and Mario went to the main floor.

 "Any more witnesses?" The judge asked.

 "Yes, I would like to call…"

 **YAY! I LOVE CLIFF HANGERS! PLEASE R&R AND I'LL WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER BEFORE TOMORROW.**


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